PHOTO STORY: THE GUEST

 

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“She’s so beautiful” I said to myself as I brushed the conditioner through her hair slowly and very deliberately. She had long brown permed hair and it seemed like she took her time to take care of it. Well, when you’re single, your life is yours, but when you’re married to a rig worker and have three boys and a baby girl, you have no edges and inconsistent lengths of hair all over your head. SheaMoisture products worked as they promised because the rinse-off conditioner was incredible. I combed her hair for what seemed like minutes until I checked my phone and saw that an hour had passed. Oh no! I had to rush and get her prepared for the occasion tonight. Peter was soon going to be back from work.

I quickly rinsed off the conditioner, dried her hair and then began to work on her nails. She had to look perfectly clean for tonight and so did I. Peter was in for a big treat! After I was done with…ummm…I don’t even know her name — I’ll call her Lisa. She looked alot like one of the many barbie dolls I had as a kid, one of which I named Lisa. Lisa wasn’t one of the most beautiful but I liked her because unlike the others she was detachable and very flexible.

Anyways, I did my hair or what was left of it, my nails, scrubbed my skin and moisturised it, shaved, and put on the blue playsuit Peter got for me on my birthday two years before. I also dressed Lisa up and allowed her to rest in the guest room while I worked in the kitchen.

You must be wondering where my kids are. Well, since it was going to be a special night, I sent them to their grandma’s for a few days to give us space. I prepared Peter’s favorite food and popped the best champagne. When I was done, I checked in on Lisa in the guest room and she was still resting. I checked the time and it was 7:08 a.m. He was going to be home soon.

I burned the sweet incense I bought from my friend Naheeja and put perfume on my neck, wrists and feet and then did same for Lisa. I sat at the foot of the bed and stared at her. The white gown I bought for her fit her perfectly even though I bought it in a rush, felt so proud of myself and wondered why I couldn’t get clothes that fit me perfectly like this.

(heavy sigh)

I looked beyond the bed where she lay and stared at my reflection in the full-sized mirror I had installed nine years ago when we moved into this house and now the same mirror showed me how my body had deteriorated so fast. How could I have let myself go this way? How did I not see it all happen? I started to get sad again; couldn’t let that happen. I stood up, dusted my playsuit and right on cue, I heard Peter’s car horn.

“Wow! Something smells nice” I heard him say from the sitting room.

I smiled to myself. Action.

“Dear, I’m in here. Give me a minute!” I yelled as I dished the food.

When I walked into the living room, he was already at the dinning room, but occupied with his phone and looked a bit frustrated.

“Dinner is served my darling” I said, smiling just like I rehearsed.

“Wow” he said again as I leaned over to put the tray in front of him, allowing him to perceive my scent and admire the blue playsuit. I placed the tray, poured him another glass of champagne and just as I was about to leave, he held my hand stopping me in my tracks.

“Babe, is there something I’m missing? Did I forget your birthday? Is it my birthday? It can’t be our annive-” He started to babble until I shut him up with a kiss.

“There’s nothing you’re missing jare, just eat your food. Let me go and get mine” I said, walking away and taking my time, knowing that he was staring at my behind. It’s working. I smiled.

While we ate, I could feel his eyes wonder over me from time to time but he seemed to be checking his phone very often like he was expecting a call from someone important. I ignored it however and continued my act. A part of me surprisingly enjoyed being an actress for a few hours. It was thrilling.

After the meal, I went into the kitchen and was doing the dishes when I felt him put his arms around me from behind. Men are so predictable to be honest. I didn’t have to be too smart or a sooth sayer to predict that move. Everything was going as planned. He began nibbling on my neck ever so softly, pausing to tell me I smell good or to thank me for the meal. Slowly and with every kiss, peck and caress, I allowed myself to be taken because, this probably was going to be his last time.

From behind the sink, to the kitchen counter, then the kitchen doorway,  and then our bedroom doorway — we floated in a cloud of arousal and finally set up shop in the bedroom. Through it all, flashes of the video I had on my tablet came to mind at inconsistent intervals but I forced them out; I couldn’t break character. Not now. When we were done, I went to the kitchen and poured myself a shot of gin and then poured another glass of champagne for Peter. I was about to go back to the room when I remembered.

Oops! I forgot the thing.

I went to the kitchen cupboard, got it out and dropped two tablets into Peter’s drink and watched them fizzle into the liquid. I mentally cautioned myself. I didn’t make it this far to get sloppy. It all had to be perfect. So, I walked back to the room with his drink and gave it to him. I stood around long enough to see him gulp it down before I went to take a shower. Two minutes later, he joined me. He slept off almost immediately after the bath and the pills were going to knock him out cold for hours. This was going to give me enough to time to bring Lisa into the room.

I walked slowly into the room to meet Lisa and she had begun to smell. I expected it although not too soon. The heat probably sped up the decay. She was still as I left her. I stood over and heaved a sigh. The time had finally come. Pale patches had started to form at the corners of her mouth and eyes. I ran my through her hair and then stroked her chin. Her skin was now cold and stiff. I considered putting her in the freezer but it was going to be too much work. Dragging her out of my car and into the bath tub was stressful enough. I only had enough strength left to lift her onto the bed.

My tablet had a 2 mega pixel camera and it was almost dusk when I recorded  that video but even through it, she looked very perfect laughing and occasionally stroking Peter’s beard. He liked it when I did that to him too.   He looked at her like she was worth looking at. And she was — one of the prettiest women I had ever met. I told her that when we met though but she couldn’t respond, probably because she was underwater. Such a nice girl. I wondered if anyone was looking for her at that moment so I retrieved her phone from the nightstand and checked her notifications. She had several messages and then 15 missed calls from “Baby”.  Our baby. I knew she was the one he was trying to reach when I was serving his food. If only he knew she was right next door all prepped for our night together.

“Don’t worry Peter, she’ll soon be within reach” I thought and smiled to myself as I got up to get the polythene bags.

I struggled to wrap her up in the polythene bags I bought on my way back from the boutique and then slid her to the floor and dragged her all the way to our bedroom where I met Peter out cold just like I left him. I struggled so hard to get her up to the bed. It was around 2 a.m and  I was exhausted.I was also a little light headed from the gin I took earlier but I finally succeeded. I rolled her over to lie face up, stood back and admired my work and then went back to lie down close to Peter.

“Perfect bride for the perfect liar” I murmured to myself with a smile on my face as I drifted off to sleep thinking about  how Peter’ll scream when he sees the gift I got him.  He will definitely love me more now.

 

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DAY 15: BULLET POINT OF MY DAY

*peeks from behind laptop screen* Hi everyone! Goodevening!! 😅
I hope we all had a great week and are enjoying the very short weekend. Great!
Today, I am supposed to give you a bullet point of my whole day so this post is going be very straight forward and probably short. Not sure yet. 🤔
Anyways, here’s what happened today:
  1. Woke up by 6:00 am to the sound of my Aunt’s clapping from the living room. 😴(the most reliable alarm by the way)
  2. Mopped the house (usual Saturday chore)
  3. Ate home-made Akara with pap on the dining table with the rest of the family
  4. Washed my hair, did a lazy facial routine and then bathed. (whole fam was going to visit a family friend by 11 and you had to be ready when my aunt was ready)
  5. Rushed through deciding on what to wear and then dressing up (almost forgot my phone)
  6. Went with fam to visit family friend.
  7. Ate some, drank some, slept some and played some.
  8. Came back home around 5 also with the fam and slept off immediately.
  9. Woke up an hour later and started working on my lappy
That’s all that has happened till now. Boring ba? I would soon take my bath, brush my teeth and then sleep early enough because I would have to wake up by 5:30 tomorrow for church.
Sigh…
Before y’all go, abeg I wan ask one queshun no vex.
How did our parents stay do 8-5 jobs for years and not break down?
Adulthood is a scam people! Its a conspiracy! It’s not fun! Tell your kids and siblings the truth!!!! 😫
I hardly have time for myself anymore and I imagine, this is what I am going to do for a while before in inevitably own my own business. Gosh! I need a massage, a vacation and a life. 😩
Okay, i’m done venting now, you can relax.
I hope to see you next time.
Bye!
❤️️❤️️❤️️❤️️
xoxoxo

DAY 14: FAVOURITE MOVIES I CAN NEVER GET TIRED OF WATCHING

Good day guys, first of all, place your right hand on your chest and say these words “Aal iz well” lol

Today, I am supposed to talk about movies I can never get tired of watching and i’m guessing you already know number one.

Continue reading “DAY 14: FAVOURITE MOVIES I CAN NEVER GET TIRED OF WATCHING”

NATURAL HAIR JOURNEY: 2 YEARS AND 9 MONTHS

It’s been a very long while since I wrote about my natural hair journey, this is partly because I have not really tried any new things. I’ve just been doing what I have been doing but I have been doing them very well. As you can see from the pictures I will share below, itaf grow. Thank you, thank you, hold your applause.

So, I shared this picture on my whatsapp status a few days ago and the responses I got were mainly questions about what I have been doing to my hair to make it so long and so full. I am not expert at all but I felt that I should answer all these questions, once and for all. Good idea ba? I’m a genius, I know.

First of all, I’d like to let you know somethings about keeping a natural hair. It’s a mind thing. Deciding to go natural, is like deciding to start working out or deciding to study more, it takes commitment and self will. If you decided to go natural simply because it looked good on someone else or because, it’s in the trend and you are not fully committed to the journey and lifestyle of keeping your hair natural, you will fall under the category of people who keep saying:

“my hair is hard” “natural hair is difficult to maintain” “natural hair is expensive” “you dey try o!” “doesn’t it pain you when you comb?”

SIGH

Continue reading “NATURAL HAIR JOURNEY: 2 YEARS AND 9 MONTHS”

DAY 13: WHAT I AM EXCITED ABOUT

Consistency is hard, but very achievable

The struggle has been real you guys but I’m not going to stop. We are going to get to Day 30. In other news, who watched the match yesterday? Raise your hand if you cried; don’t be ashamed. It was a good fight though, the super eagles played with soul and spirit and for a few days and Nigerians had hope again. Musa for president!

Okay, today I’m supposed to write about what I’m excited about. Some of these challenge topics can sha tire pezin o. Hmmm. I am excited about the future and what it has waiting for me. Sometimes, I wish I would get a tiny peek at what the future is going to be like because the suspense is killing me. I am sure I am not the only one who is excited about this. Everyone wants to know where and what they will end up with. Others are excited about knowing who they will end up with while some are excited about everything about the future; like me.

I wrote a piece about uncertainty and how frustrating it is, to just “take things as they come” and “hope for the best”. It’s so annoying especially when you’re going through a rough patch and you literally can’t see anything that would suggest illumination at the end of the tunnel of troubles you are in. Sigh.

One thing i’m sure of is that things cannot always stay bad because situations change and this life is a roller coaster ride. There will be high times and down times, slow times and fast times and times you’d want to puke and times you’d want to snack. What keeps me going, is the suspense, the anxiety and the excitement because I know that things always get better.

Its 8:01 and I have to leave for work now. I know, I know, you’ll miss me *flips hair*

Today’s post is short and I apologise. Next time, I will be talking about: FAVORITE MOVIES THAT I CAN NEVER GET TIRED OF WATCHING

See you all on Day 14.

xoxoxo

​DAY 12: FIVE BLESSINGS IN MY LIFE

A blessing is literally something that helps you or brings you happiness. If we want to then be religious or spiritual about it, it’s anything good that God has given you through grace. Today, I am supposed to write about five of these things.
MY FAMILY

My family is a blessing to me and even to themselves. When I was a kid, I used to see other rich families and wish that maybe one day one of their parents would come and identify me as their long lost daughter who got missing or exchanged during birth. (Don’t judge, we all did it). As I grew up, I began to realise that there was always more to the smiley faces, perfect family portraits and matching outfits. I realised that every family had their unique struggles, I realised that some families weren’t even families in the true sense. I realised what I had. I had and felt love in its crudest and purest form: unreserved, unconditional and clean. My family is a blessing to me and the lessons they have thought me are actually what is getting me through life as it is. 

MY TALENTS

A lot of times when people meet me and discover the things I can do, they accuse me of emulating the foolish servant in the bible who buried his own talents in the ground and returned it to his master the same way. I am multi-talented and it is very confusing. In fact, it is a blessing and a curse at the same time because, I usually end up confused when I try to think about what to do with what I have. To be honest, I am surprised at how I strongly decided to become an Architect because there are a lot of things I could have chosen to be at that point in my life, even now. Of all my talents and gifts which include creativity, the one I most appreciate and value is the ability to learn. I am a very teachable human being. Seems very insignificant right? One of the greatest gifts I have is my “teachability”. I am a learner. I learn by looking, listening and even feeling. 

MY BODY

During Christmas a few years back, a family friend came to visit and our parents asked us all to come and greet them in the living room. I wasn’t quite ready to see them, so all my siblings had gone before I went to greet them. When I entered the living room to greet her she asked and I quote: “I have not seen you before, are you a day student or a boarding student?”. Ladies and gentlemen I am sure that at that point, I am sure I was either in my final year in the university or my entry level in my postgraduate programme. It’s safe to say that I am the second smallest person in my family and the smallest is my 8 year-old brother. I am the first child out of five (four girls and one boy) and I am 7 years older than the last girl but you cannot tell. Not to toot my own horn but join me as I sing Jay Z’s  Forever Young. Forrrreevverrr youuuunnggggg 

MY FRIENDS

I have been blessed with very few good friends who are unique in their different ways but have stood by me and made me happy in their own ways as well. I am a natural helper and hijacker of people’s problems but these set of people have helped the helper in many ways than none. The funny thing is that I am not even a good friend to these people and I don’t deserve their friendships but they are there for me when I need them. They listen to my many banters and encourage me how they can. God bless them for me.

MYSELF

Yup, you read right.  There’s not much to say, I am blessed to have me. I am awesome, I am beautiful, I will be great and when I become great, I will be there to witness it all.

That’s all for Day 12 guys.

See you on Day 13

Cheers!

xoxoxo

BACK IN TRANSMISSION

It’s the weekend everyone and it’s raining. 😢 Bummer. 

If you have been following the 30-day challenge, you would realise that I am about 11 days behind schedule. I’m not about to give an excuse but alot has happened in the past few days and I hope…matter of fact I know that things will definitely get better. This has been one of the most vulnerable and weakest periods of my life where I watched myself do and think things because of imperfection. 

Well, I don’t intend to give up on this though. Expect DAY 12: FIVE BLESSING IN MY LIFE SOON. 

Cheers to the weekend

🍷 

xoxox

DAY 11: SOMETHING I ALWAYS THINK “WHAT IF…” ABOUT

We are surrounded by an unending parade of uncertainties and unconfirmed phenomena and if we decide to sit down and talk about the things we are not sure of, we may end up even doubting our own existence. Speaking of existence, what if the concept of the Matrix is true. 😀 😁 Hold on nau, hear me out first 😋

You all remember the movie: The Matrix right? If you have not seen that movie, you may be excused. Just bookmark this page, download the movie and watch it and then come back and ask for forgiveness 😔. If you’re stubborn are still reading this even when I have clearly instructed that you should go and watch the movie before continuing then you are an outlaw! 😒 I like you already 😚

Continue reading “DAY 11: SOMETHING I ALWAYS THINK “WHAT IF…” ABOUT”

DAY 8: SOMETHING I STRUGGLE WITH

Good day guys! Today I’m supposed to tell about something I struggle with. The truth is, we are all broken and have our individual struggles because we are imperfect. So, if you have come here to be judgemental, I suggest you stop reading and go now because I don’t have space for hypocrites on my blog.

So, the thing I struggle with the most, is Continue reading “DAY 8: SOMETHING I STRUGGLE WITH”