DON’T SIT AND GET HIT

Hello everyone, Happy Sunday to us all and I hope we went to church J. So, on this very good day, I was on my own o :/ busy surfing the net like I always do and I came across this amusing picture on nairaland.com. When I saw the picture,  I first laughed my head off because I never knew that people could be so funny and dumb at the same time in this life. It was obvious that the content in the picture was clearly posted by a lady who thought so little of herself and it was funny and sad at the same time. After the laughter, it then got me thinking about how many female lives have been ruined by that silly theory on how to handle wife battery.

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It first of all shows the post the lady put up on the internet and it was followed by a picture.

The post says:

“Part of keeping the black family together is learning to resolve issues internally. Not everyone needs to know your problems. I made another post about this issue and black women have said things like “A real man wouldn’t..” or “if he did it to me I would call (insert big brother, police, back up simp nigga)..” But what black women don’t realize is, not all men who’ve done this are bad men. Yes, that’s right, GOOD BLACK MEN are human too. They make mistakes just like everyone else. There isn’t many men who stand there and take constant physical and verbal abuse. If he’s a good man; take the beating, call your best friend who can keep secrets, go to her house, put an ice pack on it and call off from work until the wounds have healed. If he’s a GOOD BLACK MAN, trust me he feels horrible and wants you back. If he’s a good black man.. TAKE HIM BACK WE’RE GROWING ON TREES”

The picture below it illustrates a black woman all beaten up with the text saying “A REAL BLACK WOMAN would put an ice pack on it, wear glasses, and call off sick instead of alerting 50”

Before we comment on the silliness of this “theory”, I would like to share with us a story I heard on the Opera Winfrey show. It was about a man who started beating his wife two weeks after their wedding. He confessed to doing it out of jealousy because they went to a party together and he saw her dancing with another guy. He dragged her outside, and held his hand to her throat against the car after which he dragged her to a nearby bush and put her on the ground while trying to choke her to death. He said that he was so angry and the only outlet he had for his anger was violence. He apologized to his wife and promised that it wasn’t going to happen again until it just kept happening and he said he was out of control. They was even a time when she was heavily pregnant and he was asking for sex and she refused because of the pregnancy, this time he got so angry with her and he SAT ON HER STOMACH. This time around his wife couldn’t handle it and she threatened to leave. To cut the long story short, he gave his life to Christ and learnt how to control himself with the help of God and at that time he said that he hadn’t laid a hand on his wife in two years and he was happy. When he was asked why he beat his wife, he said that during his childhood, his father used to beat his mother and so that was the only way he knew how to express his emotions.

One night, while sleeping in my room, a woman’s cries woke me up at about 9:30pm and it went on for about an hour more. Suddenly I heard other neighbours banging on the door of the apartment “begging” the man to stop beating his wife. He replied them by saying that he was handling his business and that they should not bother disturbing him while he does that. The next morning the other neighbours gathered and started discussing the previous night’s incidence outside my flat. I listened to their conversation and discovered that they were all in support of that cowardly man who beat his wife till she bled. They kept saying that women were so stupid but that their stupidity needed to be tamed sometimes with a good beating. They even called the coward “a man in control of his house”. I shook my head at the level of illiteracy and ignorance amongst Nigerians today and all I could do was pray for them.

On other day while on a bus, an elderly man and a woman who sat at the front seat beside the driver were having an argument about women and how they should be treated at home. The woman was of the opinion that it is possible to have a happy home in Nigeria but the man doubted her and said she did not know what she was saying. According to the man, a home where the woman is always happy  is not a real home. In his own words, “Umu nwanyi di nma I di n’ebe akwa oge obuna” in English: “women are supposed to cry all the time”. He went ahead to give an example with his home where his wife is never happy and that it was a good thing because it showed that he owned his house and that there was discipline. He in fact said that when his wife is happy in the house, he makes a conscious effort to make her miserable.

Hmph!

Wait o! Who knows what causes wife battery? Could it be the woman’s fault? Could it be the man’s fault? What really drives a MAN to lay a hand on the mother of his children? What crime would his wife commit that would be so terrible to push him to harm his wife?

I know we are very eager to hear what I have to say 😀 you’re all on your devices like “make I see wetin she go talk”. I will not talk o *sips lipton and crosses legs*..hehe just kidding.

Battery-on-Spouse

I know that some of us will have reservations about the fact that an unmarried woman should not be speaking on this topic but you want to know what I think? I think that I don’t have to be married to know that wife battery or even husband battery (yes o! that one sef dey happen) cannot be justified. I sincerely believe that with the help of God, any situation in a home can be solved. I watched a movie  sometime ago that the famous Cookie of Empire featured in. In the movie, she and her hubby had issues and the pastor said that “marriage was like a three strand rope, the man is the first strand, the woman is the second and God is the third and that if the third strand is not present, the marriage surrenders to pressure because it will no longer be strong enough.” I believe that if Jesus was there from the initiation of the idea of marriage between two people, that there will be no mountain that you both would not be able to overcome because God himself will be there to give you strength.

In a case where God was not there from the onset nko? *sips more lipton* 😀 I believe that there is no case that cannot be solved when the two are willing to solve it with the help of God. There is no mountain too big.

Biko our ladies, don’t sit and get hit. Take charge of your relationship or marriage by bringing God into the matter. You are very special in your own way and you have the right to be appreciated by a good special man. Don’t compromise yourself because you want to help a human who is resisting your help or because of the material things you are benefiting from the relationship. You are your own woman; please do not let the society get into your head and make you feel otherwise.

Take your time and make your choices especially those choices that are long-term.

Nothing on this earth justifies wife battery because even good and faithful wives get beaten for being good and faithful :/. Don’t sit and let it slide, find out what the issue is and solve it with God’s help because not only are you risking your life, you are risking the lives of your children.

Once a man hits you, it might most likely happen again. Don’t say you love him and he loves you too but he’s going through a tough time and then you take the beating and do nothing. Sister, if your husband is going through a tough time and he is a good man, help him get on his knees and pray to God and not get on his feet and slap your face.

Know your man before you tie the knot because it is a lifetime decision. Don’t be blown away by wealth or looks or even the fact that he goes to church (we will talk about this one later :/)

Don’t put an icepack on it and call in sick because you think he’s a GOOD MAN. Put a stop to it and call on God because you know you are a GOOD WOMAN who deserves better.

YOU ARE YOUR OWN WOMAN.

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19 thoughts on “DON’T SIT AND GET HIT

  1. chinonso says:

    First of all, May God Judge that woman that said “put an ice pack on it and wear a sun glasses”.
    Starting from the bible, the book of all books it was said to love your wives and not hit her. You do not harm whatever you love. If you truly love that woman what ever she does wrong, you correct her with love. If it gets to the extreme, u punish her, deprive her of what she loves most. When we make mistakes and sin against God, he never came down and flogged us with a cane, He tries to show us the right way by making us go through some challenges and then we realize that we have done wrong and amend our ways. YOU DO NOT HURT/HARM WHAT YOU LOVE!!! ladies, let him not deceive you, if he hits you and says he’s going through a rough time, ITS A LIE!!! If its actually true, he’ll talk with you and ask for help to go through that time with you, and not to hit you. Are you the cause/solution of the problem? So why hit you if its not going to solve anything? Please let’s be realistic here and not deceive ourselves. Any woman that endures that treatment from her so called husband is hanging on to something (money,fame etc). If you truly love him, talk to him, tell him u can’t take it, talk to his friends, talk to your Pastor, let them advise him. If it stops, good for you, if it doesn’t and he keeps a deaf ear to everybody’s pleas… aunty,sister pack your property and go because one day people will attend your funeral and he will say it was a mistake and go free.
    Come to think of it, why do men beat up their wives? It may be because of a rough stage in life he is passing through and it may also be because is just a coward and wants to put the woman under him by force and subject her to whatever he wants. For crying out loud she is your companion, your second in command, your wife, the love of your life(as they usually say). If you were beating her before you people got married, do you think she would have married you?… I could go on and on, but to end this I would say WOMEN,SHINE YOUR EYES OHHH!!!! let him not deceive you with those cheaper talk ohh. stand up for what you want(his genuine love and care) and no compromise for anything contrary to that.
    JESUS CHRIST DID NOT DIE ON THE CROSS FOR YOU TO BECOME A SLAVE TO ANYBODY!!!!!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. chinonso says:

    To equalize; women, please be understanding. Respect your husband, love him with all your heart and make sure you do what makes him happy.
    Everybody knows their husband….try and live according to that. We all deserve peace, love and unending happiness. thank you

    Like

  3. debonelz says:

    Most marriages in Nigeria are not based on the concept of love…in fact they don’t even understand that word. It’s just a means of procreation and nothing more. Like my sister said…There are 3 parties in a marriage…The God factor, the woman and the man. Without God it is practically impossible for that union to stand the test of time. A man shouldn’t hit his wife…its utterly inhumane except she’s a designed punch bag.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. JayChioma says:

    Aswear, the woman who posted that is in dire need of some reorientation n self esteem building.

    …n all those men who need their wives to be sad so they can feel in control…they should sha just know that Joseph never beat Mary, Abraham never hit Sarah… I don’t know where it is written in the bible that one should beat his wife to subdue her. What I am aware of is that the bible advises us to correct with love.

    Like

  5. amaka says:

    Love conquers all, If there is no love between a husband and wife, a lot of challenges would be faced in the marriage. It’s not just the men who enjoy beating their wives, some women also enjoy nagging. With God, whom is love, all problems will be conquered. It would be better we involve God from the onset of any journey ( say, your career, relationships etc) we are embarking on.

    Like

  6. IGWE says:

    The thing is that I blame women a lot on this issue, not that am supporting wife battery, but ladies should study there husbands to be before marrying them, and also, some ladies can annoy person like this eehh, and u feel like beating the hell out of them, and also if a guy beats you for the 1st time when you know u didn’t do anything wrong, you should stop him immediately and not just take it like that, cos he will still repeat it if u just keep calm. But Ify remember that there is husband battery. Toooo.

    Like

    • IGWE says:

      And NB, Love has got noting to do with wife battery, cos I dnt see why U’ll have the mind to hurt someone u claim to love, but nagging ladies own matter they different, cos I do think dat the need some beating atimes shaa

      Like

  7. uche says:

    I usually advice young men to take a decision from to on set of any marriage relationship never to beat their wives. The reality is that no one is perfect. Spouses would usually offend each because they are all human. Any man who engages in wife battering is, no doubt, a miserable man and needs help urgently. Such a home will not be lovely enough for proper child development and children raised in such homes usually hate their fathers and may never get it right in their own marriages in the future.

    Like

    • IGWE says:

      Ify am not exonerating the guys, but the ladies are the ones that will determine if the battering will stop or not, cos when a guy hits you d 1st time and U react, he will think twice before doing it again, and also note that some ladies don’t really know when to talk or better said “how to talk” all this little details of how a lady treats the hubby will determine how the house or marriage will be for the both of them, guys should also try to control there temper and note that beating ur woman doesn’t mean that u are in control

      Like

  8. uche says:

    Their is really no problem in any marriage that GOD cannot solve, if spouses can involve God from the onset, pray and patiently wait on Him.

    Like

  9. Arcmec says:

    YES…….
    am happy with the ideology and views of each person here i must say yu guys are all ON POINT.
    Wife battery is an irresponsible act that could be traced to improper and unguided courtship this is critical on the part of the lady in question whom should ensure that she is not carried away by gifts and sweet words that men are fond of. Courtship is an opportunity for a lady to carefully examine the life and character of a man before engaging on such a life commitment.
    Bt because ladies have victimize them selves as if “if they don’t marry at a certain age they will die”
    pls for yu ladies here i really appreciate your courage to be on the safe side of orientation and i urge yu to educate as much as many other ladies as yu can, to let then change their view about marriage some people say it is meant to be endured but i tell yu it was made by God for enjoyment, for help to one another and for fruitfulness.
    IFEOMA pls keep the good work going and i PROFESY to all ladies that read this post a great and happy marriage life ever.
    Remember to come for testimony LOOL….

    Like

  10. Melina mimy says:

    Personally, I really dislike wife beating. That is why is very important to understand the temperament of the guy u want to marry. Quick tempered and impulsive guys react at the slightest provocation.
    Just in case u didn’t really study the guy’s temperament or maybe he displays that attitude after days..months or maybe years of the marriage, I still think that women are the pillars of every relationship. With God’s help and ur power as a woman, u can tame anyman. Everyone has his or her soft spot.

    Like

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