BECAUSE I WANT TO

“pat, pat, pat” she smoothened her face

With a colour so bright, her colour had no space

“We are going to be late!” mum yelled

With an impatience that her voice always held

Standing beside her with my obviously simple appearance

Though I did try to apply a little fragrance

“How do I look?” She asked me

With an expression that already told me what to say

“You look amazing big sis” I replied

Almost choking on my own words

Frankly she looked like a clown

Getting ready to perform at a circus down the street

“Great! I’m going to be sitting close to him today” she exclaimed.

I knew who she was talking about

Although I pretended not to

I also knew that all this was for him.

As I looked back in the mirror

I questioned my simple reflection

“Why do you look so simple?”

Over the years I came to hate the idea of looking good

It always appeared to be for the wrong reasons

At least big sis always tried to look good for the boys

So did more than half of the girls in my class

And me? I just did not care.

Quite frankly the idea to me was childish and stupid.

I mean, I look good in the mirror.

So what?

That’s all that mattered to me

I felt that that’s all that should matter

I knew I was going to be a sissy one day

With all the glitz, glam and girliness

I also knew that If I became all that

I would do it because I wanted to

Not because I wanted attention from a man *puke*

But because I believe there is more beauty in originality

I don’t know about my big sis

But I like looking good

Because it makes me feel good and confident

Not because it would probably make Harry think im hot

This is what tires me the most

In all this clowning, there is still uncertainty!

Why forfeit the trust I have In myself

For the trust i would have in the opinion of another

Which by the way is unpredictable and uncertain

Why wait for another to react to how I look

Before I am allowed to have a good day

Although as a kid I sometimes felt out place

I am glad that I did not nothing to my face

At least until I wanted to

Why? Because I wanted to

The strength in my originality

Is what boosts my confidence

Do you look good because you want to?

Is there originality in your beauty?

Is your beauty original?

Do you look the way you look because you want to?

Or because you want them to?

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14 thoughts on “BECAUSE I WANT TO

  1. IGWE says:

    Natural beauty is good, but remember that make ups or cosmetics are there so as to help the natural beauty come out the more, just that excess of it is very bad and disgusts me in particular, and personally I try to look good for myself, because I have to, not just to impress or to attract someone else’s attention, and I think that should also be the reason every other person has in mind while trying to look good

    Like

  2. kingsley says:

    delusional.
    for Every action there must be a reaction. So sad she needed a mirror to know or even think she’s beautiful.

    vanity stinks.

    Like

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