“pat, pat, pat” she smoothened her face
With a colour so bright, her colour had no space
“We are going to be late!” mum yelled
With an impatience that her voice always held
Standing beside her with my obviously simple appearance
Though I did try to apply a little fragrance
“How do I look?” She asked me
With an expression that already told me what to say
“You look amazing big sis” I replied
Almost choking on my own words
Frankly she looked like a clown
Getting ready to perform at a circus down the street
“Great! I’m going to be sitting close to him today” she exclaimed.
I knew who she was talking about
Although I pretended not to
I also knew that all this was for him.
As I looked back in the mirror
I questioned my simple reflection
“Why do you look so simple?”
Over the years I came to hate the idea of looking good
It always appeared to be for the wrong reasons
At least big sis always tried to look good for the boys
So did more than half of the girls in my class
And me? I just did not care.
Quite frankly the idea to me was childish and stupid.
I mean, I look good in the mirror.
That’s all that mattered to me
I felt that that’s all that should matter
I knew I was going to be a sissy one day
With all the glitz, glam and girliness
I also knew that If I became all that
I would do it because I wanted to
Not because I wanted attention from a man *puke*
But because I believe there is more beauty in originality
I don’t know about my big sis
But I like looking good
Because it makes me feel good and confident
Not because it would probably make Harry think im hot
This is what tires me the most
In all this clowning, there is still uncertainty!
Why forfeit the trust I have In myself
For the trust i would have in the opinion of another
Which by the way is unpredictable and uncertain
Why wait for another to react to how I look
Before I am allowed to have a good day
Although as a kid I sometimes felt out place
I am glad that I did not nothing to my face
At least until I wanted to
Why? Because I wanted to
The strength in my originality
Is what boosts my confidence
Do you look good because you want to?
Is there originality in your beauty?
Is your beauty original?
Do you look the way you look because you want to?
Or because you want them to?