Hey everyone! 😀 Happy Sunday. Hope we went to church oh! Remember that the church is the best place to catch le boo..lol.

Alright, yesterday evening, I was surfing the web as usual and I don’t know how it happened, but I started with articles on Natural Hair Care and ended up in poems on female empowerment (i’m a surfer like that. sometimes I end up on my own site). I am not really a fan of poetry but I have only come across two awesome poems that blew my mind and forced me to think about who I am and who I really want to be. The first is “A WOMAN’S QUESTION” by Lena Lathrop which my friend Ijeoma Unachukwu and I would be reviewing soon and then the second is “WHAT GUYS LOOK FOR IN GIRLS” by 17-year-old Savannah Brown and that’s what I will be reviewing today. The poem was actually a response to a silly, controversial video created on Vine by a certain young man and his friends about what guys look for in a girl. Here’s a part of the poem:

Click here to download the three minute video of the poem

“When I first learned that nobody can love me more than me, a world of happiness previously unseen was discovered because somewhere along the line of aging and scrutiny and time, I was taught to despise myself. But I made sure I kept myself beautiful so someone would love me someday so I could belong to someone someday because that’s the most important thing a  little girl could want right?

I was thirteen the first time I was embarrassed about my body of course it may not be the last and I remember stuffing my bra in the morning, tears stinging my eyes hoping, praying to something that I could look beautiful enough today braces and all for the ruthless boys who mercilessly told me I was worthless because boobs weren’t big enough

And I will go home and put on a sweatshirt with my eyes closed, deny myself the right to be showing myself because I didn’t dare want to insinuate beauty in regards to something so insulting as my body. But it think we all end up with our heads in between our knees because the only place we will ever really feel safe, Is curled up inside skin weave been taught to hate by a society that shuns our awful confidence and feeds us our own flaws and sometimes when I need to meet the me that loves me, I can’t find her or remind her that the mirror is meant to be curse so I confine her in my mind but when he or she shouts let me out, we are allowed to listen…..”

I must say that I am amazed at the fact that a 17-year-old could really say all that and make so much sense. There used to be a time, not so long ago that I felt so insecure about my body and I wanted to look good so much so that I would at least get some attention from people because I felt invisible to the rest of the world even to my reflection in the mirror. I felt so flawed and imperfect and I hated my whole being for it. It got worse when someone asked me “Ify, why don’t you have hips?”  I was irritated and annoyed at that stupid question but I just couldn’t do anything about it because I used to ask myself the same question.

The society at large has created her own definition of beautiful, sexy and hot.

Women now define themselves and measure their self-worth by vain numbers and sizes.

There is no uniqueness because every girl wants to look like every other girl.

Every day, and even now as we speak, more and more stereotypes are being mass produced in homes, hospitals, gyms, salons and tattoo shops.


How do we let ourselves know that beauty is unique and can only be fully defined by it’s owner? Why do we let people determine how we look or dress or even eat? Why should social acceptance be the diesel that fuels our whole being? Why can’t we just do it simply because we want to or because it makes us happy?

It’s quite unfortunate that it will take several years of constant brain re-washing to correct the society’s mistake but it can take a few words to prevent thousands of ladies from self-destruction. Take it upon yourself to help that lady who is drowning beside you. Save your siblings, spouses, friends or that dormant contact on your phone by sharing this. Let’s fight the society before our own children are born into this madness.


Save that lost lady and share this post.

Save that soul before it’s lost completely.

You, yes you! The beautiful girl reading this, You Are Your Own Woman…never forget that.

– thefemaleigboarchitect



  1. chinnie says:

    Love this..should really learn to appreciate ourselves. .look good for ourselves not because someone calls us ugly or fat or breathless..doesn’t mean we should shrink ourselves or try to please d person..we re beautifully nd wonderfully made. …


  2. Bookie says:

    True,nobody can make u feel good about urself like u urself.The earlier ladies know this ,the better.I noticed a lot of girls especially the university girls do some of the things they do because they want to satisfy their friends, they want to be among the big girls,they want guys to always come around.They dont want to be left out of the dressing that is in vogue. Be urself,appreciate who u are and stopping living your life for someone.


  3. chibuike says:

    nice piece. am advising all my female friends to burn all there cosmetics (including vaseline and powder ) then barb skin So as we can see Eve’s beauty laid bare. then after then we can start talking about inner beauty and whether she can cook.
    knowing you stuffed your bra when you were 13, just makes me smile


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