APPEAL

It’s not easy being me,

Because every day I try to be you,

Being you looks so easy,

So the aspiration to change came so easily.

But the effort I make to be as flawless and as perfect as you isn’t so easy

It’s grueling.

It’s stressful.

It’s hard.

And at the end of the day, I look at myself

Happy that I’m starting to be perfect just like you.

But sometimes, when I am not awe struck and dazed by your perfection,

I realize…

I realize the truth:

That the closer I am to being you,

The farther away I am from being myself.

That I can never be you

I can only be myself,

I love myself,

I can improve myself.

But I cannot make myself into something or someone that is not me.

But the awe sets in again,

I’m hypnotized by your perfection,

We’re all hypnotized by your perfection.

We want it so we convince ourselves that we need it

That we need you,

That we need to be you.

I’m so close to being you

So close, yet so far away.

Which do I choose: the me I have always the been

Or the me that will look just like you?

I want to choose me,

But me looks so unappealing

So I guess it’s you;

I choose you.

But I’m bummed out

So I choose myself

And I am more bummed out.

by OZIOMA NDUKA

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