As a young growing girl, I never understood the meaning of the word “Family”. To my understanding, family was just a group of people you had to put up with because you were related by blood. I always thought about the concept as unnecessary and disturbing. I never saw the need to have a family because I felt that my “friends” could provide me with the love, counsel and company that my family was supposed to solely provide. I always stayed away from my family especially in public because I felt embarrassed whenever my sisters clung to me, or whenever my mother sent me on an errand to get drinking water for my kid sisters. I felt that my family was restricting from enjoying a supposed social life that I felt I was missing out on. Whenever I wanted to go and talk with my friends and my little sister tried to tag along, I would almost scream her head off and scare her back to my mum or my other two sisters. I felt she was going to embarrass me or say something that would make me look uncool or like a village girl. I desperately needed to belong to a group of people who weren’t like me. I did this at the expense of a relationship with the most important group of people in my life.

Staying away from my family and trying to fit in with the dope kids left me estranged, confused and out of place. I always looked like a ghost, acted weird, dressed weird and sometimes talked like I was high on something. All because I felt my family was too lame for a person like me. I was a child, a foolish child who didn’t know what she was losing until the Lord taught me a lesson that sent me back to my family. I was lost, confused and disturbed and all I could think about was my family. At first it annoyed me that I was thinking about that same group of people who made me look bad in public or didn’t let me socialize with the cool kids. I remember my mother’s fruitless efforts in trying to drag me to the family. She tried to make me see that they were all I had but the gods made me mad. I couldn’t see reason with her in my childish foolishness. The Lord forced me on my knees before him and he opened my eyes to see what I had been missing and what my family had been going through. He made me see how much my family needed me and how my absence was felt.


I realised that my family was always there for me through thick and thin, providing me with all they had to offer and I was too damn blind to see it.

The truth is, my family is as imperfect as imperfect can be, but the joy I now feel whenever my last two sisters come to me to settle a fight between them or when my little brother tries to explain an episode of Ben 10 to me, or when my mother calls me on the phone and is so excited to hear my voice is unimaginable. You cannot imagine the joy I feel whenever I am around them. It cannot be measured. Many people on the streets are looking for people to love them for free like my family does.

There is nothing like family. Stop comparing them to other families and don’t let that voice in your head deceive you.

No one can love you like your family does.

Genuine happiness in success comes when you have your family to share it with you.
If you are a young person and there is little or no evidence of a relationship between you and your family, find a way to mend that rift.

No matter how large or beautiful a castle is, it’s owner will only be fulfilled if he shares it with people he loves.

Now, my parents and my siblings are my greatest fans. My parents especially are always sharing and commenting on posts here and on facebook. My little sister alongside Marya Igwe (Another member of the team) helps edit almost all the posts I put up. My little sister Uzoma the artist, once helped me think up a Logo for the blog. They have all been wonderful and they make me happy. By the way, my mum owns a blog (Passion in Parenting blog) too! She’s all about parenting and how to get it right.

Every family has issues but these issues exist sometimes to bring them closer to each other. Don’t detach yourself from your family because God put you there for a good reason.



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  1. IGWE says:

    Wow.. nice one Ify…. well to me family comes 1st, the ones you call friends might not even be there when you need them self. But no matter what you family will always be there for you. Vut some friends can still form “family ” you know. There are some exceptional friends, though few and hard to find.


  2. Uche says:

    I believe the words of Jesus that the Holy Spirit shall teach us all things. This provides evidence for my teaching that parenting challenges should be handed over to God.


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