“Do you think anyone else would even consider suffering with you?! I am doing you a favour!!” He screamed to the hearing of Paul and Gomez, his roommates.
“Why do you think i’m with you? You think you are so beautiful or smart?!! how many boys will do what I have done for you?!!” He asked
“Do you know how hard it is?! Literally? You have forced celibacy on me for four months! Haven’t I tried?!”
“See, you are not my first girlfriend and you will not be the last. Get over yourself!” He said finally before storming out of the room.
I stood there staring at the space he left behind. I couldn’t move, breathe or even cry. Tears welled up in my eyes and it felt like there was a frog in my throat. Gomez and Paul were already snickering behind me although they tried to hide it.
The reasons behind his behaviour towards me eluded me because I was made to understand that people like me were special.
“Nnem, close your legs till you have a husband. I married your father a virgin and because of this, he respects me so much.” my mother said while she dressed me up for school. I was in JSS1.
You see, before I started dating Pete, I already made it clear to him that I was not interested in sex and I wanted to wait till marriage. He agreed to my terms so sweetly and easily like it was a whimsical issue compared to the love he claimed to have for me. Now I realise it was just a facade.
Sometimes, I make up my mind to leave but even when the image of the dark girl I saw on top of him was still very clear in my head, I just couldn’t leave. You know why? because he was probably right. I mean, who would put up with a 23 year old virgin. Apparently staying a virgin this long was a crime and very abnormal for someone my age. I made him the monster he is because he’s human and he obviously has needs. He’s a good man but he cheats because of ME. He threw these tantrums every time I confronted him about Angela or Temi or Dimma or the dark short girl or even that other fair tall girl.
I just stood there wondering why God had to curse me like this. Ada’s relationship is going well and Janet is getting married next month. Ada lost hers in secondary school and Janet, two years ago. What’s so good about being pure when I’m always sad? What’s so good about being clean when I always feel dirty?
I finally left the room and headed to my hostel in shame so that I could cry. I didn’t need all this because I am in my final year and I am graduating in July. My head isn’t with my books any more….it is with Pete.
After spending two days struggling not to call him, I finally dialled his number. After two rings, he picked and before I could speak, my battery died.
I wonder why he hadn’t called me since and I missed him so much.
“That’s it! I’m going to his hostel to apologise” I said out loud to myself.
So, I got dressed, boarded a bus and started rehearsing the speech I was going to give when I saw him. , I came down from the bus, took a deep breath and headed upstairs. I met Gomez on my way up and for some reason he looked like he had something to tell me but couldn’t. I figured it probably was one of his silly jokes and so I ignored him and continued going upstairs even though I felt his eyes on me until I entered the lobby. When I got to his door mouth, I just knocked on it once and opened the door and what I saw forced me out of the room…