Oh my readers forgive me, I no go do am again o! 😢😢
Hello everyone and welcome to the month of July! Whoop whooop!! I hope we have all been good to ourselves. That’s great!
You can’t wait for the story ba? See your teeth. 😂 Amebo.
I’m not talking again 😯
Just kidding! Let’s wait for these chickens to pass first. 🕒
Yesterday while I was scrolling through my timeline, I came across a post by a girl named Oma. She’s a blogger and talks about everything that deserves an opinion on her blog. She had shared one of her posts and the title suggested that women were their own problem. The post in summary was a story about how she mentioned to her mother that she was tired of the traffic and needed to get herself a car. Her mother yelled at her and asked her if she even wanted to get married at all because when she gets a car it would scare away suitors and she’ll most probably end up alone and sad.
A friend of mine also shared a story of how she was on a bus conversing in igbo with her friend and was interrupted by the stranger sitting next to her. The stranger scolded her for sounding too “igbotic” and adviced her to speak more English so that she could sound more lady-like and attract suitors. This stranger was a woman.
The famous Nigerian Architect and radio host, Jumoke Adenowo in an interview for a women’s show explained how dreams have been killed, crushed and shattered because mothers and women tell their daughters and friends that: shebi it’s Garri that they will do last last, just study your nuclear physics and get married.
Everyday on social media and in random discussions, the issue of the discrimination against humans because they are female come up. I sit back and realise that the people who advocate for their freedom do this mostly before the ones who discriminate. But amongst themselves, they feel less.
Women! We might be our own problem!
We will not get the treatment and recognition we deserve by lip service, we get it by working on ourselves and helping ourselves. But no! We have turned ourselves into competitors for a negligible price. Everyday there is a constant struggle for a meal ticket that we can afford. We smile to win, we speak to admonish and we dress to slay. Everything we do is just so that Justine will not do it better than we have done it.
I envy men sometimes because even in diversity, there is a sense of community, understanding and respect they have for their counterparts. Correct me if I’m wrong. With us? It’s always a competition. We see ourselves as less and teach our daughters to be less. It’s an endless cycle that continuously mass produces a set of brain washed women who fight for nothing.
We should owe our daughters, sisters and friends the responsibility to empower ourselves because in so doing, we empower them too. We owe them belief in ourselves and we owe them success.
Stop seeing the woman next to you as a competitor and start seeing her as a sister. We are in no competition because at the end of the day, we all die and the things we kill ourselves over will perish.
Help the lady next to you by first helping yourself. Success and happiness is not gender selective. Stop the ill-advicing, the envy, the hate, the fighting, the scowls and the gossip. Stop basing your happiness in what Obinna thinks or what Chidimma says. Just be a woman.
This is why I have stopped advocating for gender equality and this is why I have not identified with feminism because I don’t know who to fight for or speak for. We must first unite before deciding to fight.
Let us empower ourselves and in so doing, we might even prove our worth without even trying.
Thanks and have a lovely Sunday.
– Nduka Ifeoma