“She’s so beautiful” I said to myself as I brushed the conditioner through her hair slowly and very deliberately. She had long brown permed hair and it seemed like she took her time to take care of it. Well, when you’re single, your life is yours, but when you’re married to a rig worker and have three boys and a baby girl, you have no edges and inconsistent lengths of hair all over your head. SheaMoisture products worked as they promised because the rinse-off conditioner was incredible. I combed her hair for what seemed like minutes until I checked my phone and saw that an hour had passed. Oh no! I had to rush and get her prepared for the occasion tonight. Peter was soon going to be back from work.
I quickly rinsed off the conditioner, dried her hair and then began to work on her nails. She had to look perfectly clean for tonight and so did I. Peter was in for a big treat! After I was done with…ummm…I don’t even know her name — I’ll call her Lisa. She looked alot like one of the many barbie dolls I had as a kid, one of which I named Lisa. Lisa wasn’t one of the most beautiful but I liked her because unlike the others she was detachable and very flexible.
Anyways, I did my hair or what was left of it, my nails, scrubbed my skin and moisturised it, shaved, and put on the blue playsuit Peter got for me on my birthday two years before. I also dressed Lisa up and allowed her to rest in the guest room while I worked in the kitchen.
You must be wondering where my kids are. Well, since it was going to be a special night, I sent them to their grandma’s for a few days to give us space. I prepared Peter’s favorite food and popped the best champagne. When I was done, I checked in on Lisa in the guest room and she was still resting. I checked the time and it was 7:08 a.m. He was going to be home soon.
I burned the sweet incense I bought from my friend Naheeja and put perfume on my neck, wrists and feet and then did same for Lisa. I sat at the foot of the bed and stared at her. The white gown I bought for her fit her perfectly even though I bought it in a rush, felt so proud of myself and wondered why I couldn’t get clothes that fit me perfectly like this.
(heavy sigh)
I looked beyond the bed where she lay and stared at my reflection in the full-sized mirror I had installed nine years ago when we moved into this house and now the same mirror showed me how my body had deteriorated so fast. How could I have let myself go this way? How did I not see it all happen? I started to get sad again; couldn’t let that happen. I stood up, dusted my playsuit and right on cue, I heard Peter’s car horn.
“Wow! Something smells nice” I heard him say from the sitting room.
I smiled to myself. Action.
“Dear, I’m in here. Give me a minute!” I yelled as I dished the food.
When I walked into the living room, he was already at the dinning room, but occupied with his phone and looked a bit frustrated.
“Dinner is served my darling” I said, smiling just like I rehearsed.
“Wow” he said again as I leaned over to put the tray in front of him, allowing him to perceive my scent and admire the blue playsuit. I placed the tray, poured him another glass of champagne and just as I was about to leave, he held my hand stopping me in my tracks.
“Babe, is there something I’m missing? Did I forget your birthday? Is it my birthday? It can’t be our annive-” He started to babble until I shut him up with a kiss.
“There’s nothing you’re missing jare, just eat your food. Let me go and get mine” I said, walking away and taking my time, knowing that he was staring at my behind. It’s working. I smiled.
While we ate, I could feel his eyes wonder over me from time to time but he seemed to be checking his phone very often like he was expecting a call from someone important. I ignored it however and continued my act. A part of me surprisingly enjoyed being an actress for a few hours. It was thrilling.
After the meal, I went into the kitchen and was doing the dishes when I felt him put his arms around me from behind. Men are so predictable to be honest. I didn’t have to be too smart or a sooth sayer to predict that move. Everything was going as planned. He began nibbling on my neck ever so softly, pausing to tell me I smell good or to thank me for the meal. Slowly and with every kiss, peck and caress, I allowed myself to be taken because, this probably was going to be his last time.
From behind the sink, to the kitchen counter, then the kitchen doorway, and then our bedroom doorway — we floated in a cloud of arousal and finally set up shop in the bedroom. Through it all, flashes of the video I had on my tablet came to mind at inconsistent intervals but I forced them out; I couldn’t break character. Not now. When we were done, I went to the kitchen and poured myself a shot of gin and then poured another glass of champagne for Peter. I was about to go back to the room when I remembered.
Oops! I forgot the thing.
I went to the kitchen cupboard, got it out and dropped two tablets into Peter’s drink and watched them fizzle into the liquid. I mentally cautioned myself. I didn’t make it this far to get sloppy. It all had to be perfect. So, I walked back to the room with his drink and gave it to him. I stood around long enough to see him gulp it down before I went to take a shower. Two minutes later, he joined me. He slept off almost immediately after the bath and the pills were going to knock him out cold for hours. This was going to give me enough to time to bring Lisa into the room.
I walked slowly into the room to meet Lisa and she had begun to smell. I expected it although not too soon. The heat probably sped up the decay. She was still as I left her. I stood over and heaved a sigh. The time had finally come. Pale patches had started to form at the corners of her mouth and eyes. I ran my through her hair and then stroked her chin. Her skin was now cold and stiff. I considered putting her in the freezer but it was going to be too much work. Dragging her out of my car and into the bath tub was stressful enough. I only had enough strength left to lift her onto the bed.
My tablet had a 2 mega pixel camera and it was almost dusk when I recorded that video but even through it, she looked very perfect laughing and occasionally stroking Peter’s beard. He liked it when I did that to him too. He looked at her like she was worth looking at. And she was — one of the prettiest women I had ever met. I told her that when we met though but she couldn’t respond, probably because she was underwater. Such a nice girl. I wondered if anyone was looking for her at that moment so I retrieved her phone from the nightstand and checked her notifications. She had several messages and then 15 missed calls from “Baby”. Our baby. I knew she was the one he was trying to reach when I was serving his food. If only he knew she was right next door all prepped for our night together.
“Don’t worry Peter, she’ll soon be within reach” I thought and smiled to myself as I got up to get the polythene bags.
I struggled to wrap her up in the polythene bags I bought on my way back from the boutique and then slid her to the floor and dragged her all the way to our bedroom where I met Peter out cold just like I left him. I struggled so hard to get her up to the bed. It was around 2 a.m and I was exhausted.I was also a little light headed from the gin I took earlier but I finally succeeded. I rolled her over to lie face up, stood back and admired my work and then went back to lie down close to Peter.
“Perfect bride for the perfect liar” I murmured to myself with a smile on my face as I drifted off to sleep thinking about how Peter’ll scream when he sees the gift I got him. He will definitely love me more now.
The Female Igbo Architect 